Thursday, April 3, 2008

Luscious Verde: We Make Dreams Come True

For as long as she can remember, Liz (our operations manager) has had a dream. Now this was no ordinary dream. Liz did not wish for wealth, fame, or a date with Colin Farrell (unless he’s available, then please, give him her number). Little Elizabeth Adrienne’s big dream was to brew a steaming pot of coffee not with water, but with . . . milk. I kid you not. There’s no need to worry with creamer if you’re already drinking a creamy pot of milk coffee . . . or so says Liz! So today, at Luscious Verde, everyone pulled together to make this a dream come true. However, we aren’t the type of folks to just jump right into something without devising a highly detailed plan. We wanted to go about this in a scientific way. Thinking back to the Scientific Method learned in high school, we realized we needed to control the variables, figure out a hypothesis, come up with a detailed plan of action, and lastly, wear protective gear:

1. We discovered the boiling point of milk is, according to the great Internets, higher than that of water (Melissa and Jason, I think this means it won’t scald, but nice watching out!)
2. Jaclyn suggested that skim milk might be the best way to go on our first attempt.
3. Luckily, milk does flow through a standard coffee filter (avoiding coagulation? CHECK!)
4. In the event of fire, keep extinguisher close. (PASS: Pull, Aim, Squeeze, Sweep . . . that’s what we learned from the fire department in extinguisher training)
5. In the event of major foaming or spillage, keep paper towels close.
6. Be sure to notify all company vegan’s that our coffee pot may no longer be considered a vegan option. (sorry Tony)

Included here is our photo diary of the occurrence:

Look how happy she is?! Now you understand why we had to carry out this plan despite all the naysayers.

So after Liz hit the magic "start" button on the coffee pot, we all waited with bated breath to see if the coffee pot would explode right before our eyes. It didn't. But slowly, the gurgling steeping sound began. Liz was giddy with excitement. And then the first drips started to fall. Victorious cheers were heard throughout the building! "It's working! And it looks like chocolate milk!" The coffee pot began to fill:

Watching the coffee pot fill with "chocolate milk" colored milk coffee was, as you can imagine, about as exciting as watching C-SPAN. As a result, the crowd slowly dispersed. Even Liz strayed away from the kitchen (she has a short attention span). Periodically Rob, Liz or I would check the progress of the pot. After a few moments, we realized that perhaps we should check the filter. If you notice from the above photo diary, Liz poured a half a pot of milk into the reservoir. Our pot was filling very slowly and we began to worry. We peeked under the lid to see what the hold up was:

Uhh ohhh . . . serious back up problems. We turned the pot off hoping the milk would filter through. At this point we had about two inches of milk coffee. We gave it another five minutes and decided that two and a half inches of beverage would just have to suffice. Everyone could have a sip out of the communal mug. Liz emptied the filter basket into the trash and poured a steaming cup of milk coffee. Then she tasted it . . . the moment we'd all been waiting for. "This is not nearly as delicious as I had hoped," she said with disappointment. "It's like pretty bad European coffee." So of course the rest of us had to taste it (except for Tony because he's vegan!), and we all agreed. Kind of gross.

That was the anticlimactic ending to our highly anticipated experiment. Or so we thought . . . Around 8:30 this morning, everyone started giving sideways glances across the office in an effort to reveal the origin of the pretty funky smell that was wafting through the air. It wasn't Rob. He appeared freshly showered. What could it be? And then Kelly discovered that it was the coffee pot. Although it had been cleaned the evening before and a new pot of regular coffee brewed, there was a pretty offensive odor. And Rob was already on his second cup. So this afternoon Luscious Verde will be retiring the old coffee maker for a brand new one. Services will be held out back around 5:00pm. Donations may be made to the "coffee fund" for future experiments in custom coffee brewing.

Liz would like to thank everyone involved for their efforts in making her dreams come true. And again, if anyone knows Colin Farrell, please give him her number.



nancy said...

You guys are truly and hilariously crazy! I love it!!! It would have worked better if the milk had been diluted I half and half only with water instead of cream.
I might try it if I ever have a coffee pot I need to kill.

Toni said...

Oh, Liz... it looked so promising, too! Y'all should break down and finally get a french press. :-)