Phone Ranger

While it doesn’t require heavy lifting or excavating precious artifacts from within booby-trapped Mayan temples, answering the phones at a small business can still sometimes be a slightly taxing experience. But what turns an interesting and enjoyable job into one that’s not are those few times a day when we get straight-up bizarre prank calls or wrong numbers.

Sometimes it’s a person asking for the Case Western statistics department, and sometimes it’s an inebriated teenager saying “I love you” at 10-second intervals for two minutes straight. For you other small-business owners and workers, here are some tips I’ve heard about dealing with misguided phone trolls. Have any other tips or tricks? Leave ‘em in the comments.

-- If they ask what your company does, say that you perform embalming and taxidermy services for house pets.

-- Always have a Megadeth CD on pause at loud volume for quick and painful retaliation

-- Give caller to office’s designated long-winded talker. Watch a friendship blossom.

-- If all else fails, ask to be put on their do-not-call list. If you haven’t already, sign up for the national one here.

-- Rob @ L.V.